On Sunday morning my best friend, my husband of 20+ years signed himself into a drug and alcohol treatment program. I’m devastated not that he is getting help but the events leading up to this day. I’ve spent the last 4 days trying to pick up the pieces and go on without him here at home. I’m struggling. I’m failing. My mind is there with him. Wanting to heal his pain, my pain is nothing when he hurts. He is the rock of our family. He is the piece I need back to help me find the rest me. My mom is here helping me to cope with this life altering chain of events but I’m alone in this. I’m alone inside my head. I’m seeking Jesus. I am. I can’t find him right now. I know that didn’t mean he’s not here it just means I need to look harder.